I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
