Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
