thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
