we're blogging at a bar
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
