I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
