He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
