Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
