seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
