And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
