sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
