last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
