why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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