i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
