have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize