i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
