Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
