i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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