She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
