I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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