Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
