you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
