im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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