I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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