try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
