i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Damn victory sex feels great
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
