There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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