All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
