That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i believe in u and ur pee
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
