wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i have two assholes
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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