oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
