told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
