TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
