ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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