Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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