I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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