He had one of those small greek statue penises
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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