We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
