Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
