ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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