I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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