I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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