That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
