Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
