I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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