i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
