the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
