Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
