I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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