I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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