Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize