yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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