if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Did I show you my penis last night?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
