oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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