I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
