I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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