Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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