clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have aggressive nipples.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
