Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
