This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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