Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
