i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
