oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
