At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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