Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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