do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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