Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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