Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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