how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
