just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
