Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
this will be a night to untag.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
