you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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