No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize