i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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