yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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